Thursday, December 31, 2009
- cukup sial
- kesialan melanda kau membuat aku risau
- jadi jalanan aku jadi tepian
- melihat kaw hilang di merata tempat.
- aku pilu melihat diri aku
- sedih, tipis, pilu, kelat, pahit, semua yang jahil
- tersemat di hati aku yang hitam yang bakal di campakkan ke api yg bahang
- tapi engkau...
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Monday, December 7, 2009
Friday, December 4, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
as i stared..
as i smell..
keep on waving..
i dont deserve it..
as i turn back time
keep on nagging..
she is at home..
waiting fr me.
where are all those people..
they are not her children
but y me?
i dont need this.
a man came..
she is the one..
i stared at him..
he gave me a flower
but y a sunflower.
he said : sun go brighten everyday flower keep on blooming everyday..
she wants you to be someone..
dont harm urself.
he beg me.
but y me?
it is always me..
im still searching fr it.
search search search
i still have the chance to change.
im still looking for me..
ahh! its insane! im too overdose!
stop it! stop it!
nothing to compare..
nothing to proud of..
in different way..
in different things..
we dont need speakers..
we dont need crowds..
we dont need merchants...
we dont need sponsors..
we just need someone to lend their eyes..
about what im going to write..
about what i feel today..
about what is the life on going
with a puff..
tells others about thousand things in their mind..
used to be one of them..
its just a part of it..
it is just a part of it..
it is just a part of it..
writers and blogger
keep writing up
its a free writing
people do change
keep on observing.
keeps on changing.
thinking about something else
observing and watching
listening every single bit
smell something bad and good
keep them shut
keep on biting
in every single way.
it comes and go..
nothing could change me and myself, it is just me. im the one who should be blame.it is what have been planned and it is not important. it is the pain that i think i should get rid of. and sometimes i feel like suicide is the best way, no matter what happen. it would be the best. nothing to worry about.
it has been fade away..
it gasp me like gasping for airs..
it do hurts..
it shall fade away.. but the bruise..
i noe it wont fade away..
im the one who should be blame..
this body not the soul...
this body dont deserve all this..
because of the soul..
the body feels the pain along..
where the smokes of eager and evil..
keep on ambushing the lungs..
but y the body..
not the soul..
just to make the soul happy..
why does the body should feel the pain..
it hurts me..
it do hurts me a lot..
the kisses on that night..
it kills the people..
even the most dangerous thing in this world..
the soul wants it..
y must the body feels it too..
doesnt it sounds hell?
pity the body..
the soul is crazy..
the body needs all the sanity..
the mind undecided
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
- a friend of mine
- i was a dead tree last time
- without leaves
- awaitin fr a man to bring me life
- a life that it so called victory
- a victory that no one could ever gained.
- in a yard there were a lot of beautifull flowers and a lot of bees busy for the honey.
- just a tree
- an old tree
- even the sun brightly risen up could not help me to grow and become a big tree.
- I was ashamed of myself.
- but there..
- is a man
- holding a pail of water..
- a water!
- even a pail should be more than enough.
- but he.strongly and bravely brings a pail of water where the river nearby is full of angrily and hungry alligators..
- but to save this tree that man is willing to sacrifice and carry a lott of water...
- he pour all the water at the tree and look after of that tree..
- he believes that the tree will become a very big tree..
- someday and he believes in it..
- he makesure the tree is well taken care...
- and now by the time has arrives..
- the big tree has fruits.
- its a magic fruits and the tree becomes beautifull and well taken care .
- and now.
- no way of that tree to forget that man atribution and help.
- the tree fruits every season so the man could sell the fruits and noww..
- he is becomin a well known rich man!
- thats all...
for the best conclusion.. HARITH FADHILLAH..i wont ever2 forget about you.i dont have the tend to forget people. I hope i would not forget u and i really apprieciate u as I was a dumb girl before..
- izzudin bin azizol
- shahrul anwar bin yuhanis
- Muhammad faisal b anua
- hafizi bin fauzi
- muhammad mahfuz bin abdul rashid
- joehaidin nasution bin johan
- amirrul ashim
- faris bin osman
- muhammad noor arif b omar
well i got a lot of crusheh which i dont think so whom. and i love spending time with them. I love it. but I dont waste my pride on them. they are just for a place to smile, laugh, talk and more. I dont think that playing each others feeling would be a great idea because it might risk ur relationship with each other. One thing about guys is they treat me well i mean is they dont talk back like the other girls did and they have some perception onwards each other in every single different way. and i love it. they talk and they tells directly eventhough sometimes it is hurt. well the truth might ba a little pain as mght as well talk about each other and talks back about each other is fucking hell!
seriously it is hell!
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Basically, my dad will give me a call.."where r u now dear, ayah needs the card.."i replied"im almost here ayah..wait okayh.at the junction noww..." pbbt! adoyy! leceyh when parents could not trust us ryte? well saper suruh kantoi and everythin. at this age. no body would trust us. seriously because at this age everythin would happen and obviously some of the girls like me will feel annoyed well what to do! redhaa jee! hihih...
the conclusion is i love my cigarettes! cntek kn casing i! bullshit!
- awaitin for mummy to asked me to take back my Dell laptop which is corrupted and crashed due to some technical problem.
- Its sux because everyday I have nothin to do just listen to the electro's music. Online-ing facebook and myspace.
- Youtube-ing anything that i would ever rather do.
- Talk to myself because no money and no assets. Just liability.
- Just now, JEBON EMBON asked me to write up about him!
- okayh then!
- now I am writing up!
- Titik pertemuan di Getting to noe you
- Seorag yang saNGAT malu2 kucing
- hahahah! sengal nak mampos yee
- dikenali chip or adakah ia CHEAP atau sekadar panggilan maut yang tidak akan disedari orang ramai atau hanaya saya seorang sahaja akan mengenali diri mu yg bak kucing gebu itu.
- you! i ta suke kucing! I takut kowt! no wonderlah I takut kucing kater garang mcm u.
- Boleh dikire seorang shabat walaupun baru kenal. saya tidaklah begitu mudah untuk berase selese dgn cepat lagi2 dgn unknown sbb saya sangat memeilih untuk memilih seorang sahabat. seriously shit!
- Sangat active dalam bidang theatre sbb once I have followed him to his tarining of the theatre of WHoa, Willow! di Uitm Puncak Perdana. time tue ku sedang melarikan diri
- SEorang yg amat sensitive cm pokok semalu tapi tuelah, Pokok semalu pun boleyh terkejut dgn kemaluan yg jebon ader sebab "diorg" kate. Kalaw belakang besar dpn kecik, kalaw blakang kecik depan besar...memandangkan jebon dah slimmed down. belakang dier mstilah kecik. so depan dier besarlah! ahahhahaha.
- Think big to b big! hahaha
- n saye suker lepak ngan dier sbab dier tramatlah best dgn attitude nyer yg ta semene2 itu yang membuatkan saye tergamam lah jugak sometimes and teruje! it wud b a definitely! hihihih
- haaaa.itu sajee sekian ntuk jebon......
okayh enuff for jebon. sekarang nie tngu mummy lagi so she could asked me to get back to bring my laptop. she's busy with my brother who love to sing and shouting and playing all the instruments that annoying. and irritating. sometimes i feel like killing all the boys because i felt annoyed. But still they are my brothers and insane people themselves wouldnt be that cruel. they still have the feelin of loving each other.
I think the intention of creating this blog is to fulfill all my leisure time. instead of going out anywhere that are dangerous and a lot of mysterious guys out there. but still on weekend im going to enjoy myself partying! hihih. man how i love to party! seriously shit. Well, there it goes !
Sometimes I felt really empty because I dont have anything to do and mostly I will open my mouth widely in the toilet n ..... and i open my mouth just a lil bit fr a .... hihihi. well there it goes!
But never mind, what goes around comes around. Seriously I felt terrible. But I think its okayhl Since then I started to call myself Shedevil.feruzshedevil. I think i am too demanding and he felt annoyed. But its okayh. I dont mind about it at all! and now I have changed and a lot of people could not accept it. Its okayh. I will prove them wrong. Now its me to choose the right way or not. because I am the one who is going to face through it everyday.
Now.Living in a city its not like what other people expected. As you can see definitely teenagers ( the most correct word and group to use ) partying.clubbing.drinking.smoking.weedinghaving sex. its normal, as it is not supposed to be in our culture. but im tired with all of the. they wont solve any of ur problems and it wont remain forever. temporarily it did but you wil get the result from the aspect of ur health.
Well, praying for me to face my day with joyness and happiness