mafusz

happy new year

napeeeee.

bosan lah..

nape u wat i camni

 nieee..

hrmmmmh.

ntah laaaaa..

i sedeyh la.

he took everything.

but ntuk sakit kan hati u

i raser cm useless pun ader

seriously,,

its pointless untuk marah u

u have ur own life.

u slalu bwat camnie kat i,

but kenape i??

i raser cam siot pun ader.,

baru nak happy ngan u.

tapi tue lah.

u cam bwat endah ta endah.

u kater u penat ngan i,

u ta tanyer i penat ker ta ngan u.

ade i nagging??

penah??

i sedeyh u bwat camnie ngan i.

i raser org yg paling hine kat dunie nie,

i tadee pape ntuk u.

like ur goin to apprieciate it.

i raser i nie cam tayar,

selalu bagi problem kat u.

b.

knape

i berubah sebab i nak u pandang i

tapi you??

ader ker??

i sedey.

seriously,

bende lain i harap bende lain i dapat

sampai bile b.??

sampai bile??

u,

kalaw i bunuh diri plz jangan terkejut.

sbb sekarang i raser i lah manusia yang paling bwak sial,

im a failure,

seriously

b.

bilee lah u nak dgr isi hati i..

bile kan??

hrmmh.

maybe anywhere i bkan ntuk didengarii tapi dilepasi,

i raser cm kosong.

ayah, mama, acap , and u,

lebey kurang jeee.

have u guys ever.

jgnlah marah i kalaw i nak bwat bende2 pelik lak as u noe.

i dah sakit hati sgt,

serious..

k.

dier dah call i

kitorg nak pergi bulan.

b jangan kecik hati,

b senang sgt lepas kan i.

tp i taknak pun kuar ngan dier.

tc.

love u b

always

lOST

everything

kaw

• cukup sial
• kesialan melanda kau membuat aku risau
• kaw??
• jadi jalanan aku jadi tepian
• melihat kaw hilang di merata tempat.
• aku pilu melihat diri aku
• sedih, tipis, pilu, kelat, pahit, semua yang jahil
• tersemat di hati aku yang hitam yang bakal di campakkan ke api yg bahang
• tapi engkau...

ahhhhhh

serabut

then i noe it wont remain as i will make stupid moves that hurts everyone that i care most

bond

• u
• and u
• i hate u
• u love me??
• i do.!
• i noe
• this story..
• hurts u..
• but me..
• ur hurting me a lot.

Ice

as i love u

and i noe u will hurt me

as i stared in the air

i love the smell and the taste

damn.

but when youre gone

its time for sober

sober

i love it

because it will hurt me

i noe

because you are always be

and i noe

this 6ix years will shakee

shaken all the way.

i dont know what to xpress on u

ur just like this drug

i dunoe

i sacrifice everything on u

but u??

doin nothing

i hope this eve will be the greatest

greatest

ur just like a drug

it wont benefit me.

but still i love u

u promised me everythin

but u?

doing nothing

my obsession

my obsession is..

everytime i looked into the mirror

shit! gemokk

laxatives!

everything!

i need u noww

ayah

plz dont leave me alone.

im to scareeed

plz ayah,

i noe u dont want to stay down there alone.

dear daddy

im too perfect to be your best daughter

im too old to be your baby girl

im too young to be your great daughter

im too evil to be your angel

daddy.

im sorry for what that i have done

i noe u wont see the tears that coming over frm my heart

i noe u wont listen to me whenever i cry

just plz dont say the word that that really touched me

it hurts

and

I cant bear with it.

sometimes daddy.

i just need ur eyes to catch me.

listen to me

get me.

but

its not u r the one should be blame because u have too much of responsibilities.

this tears.

will be counted whenever it fell.

but maybe.

i wont cry on my last day here.

 because i just want u to be happy as before not the currently.

just take care of ur health daddy.

owhhh.

how all of my organs know everything about me.

they now really good

on how much i love you.

 love u daddy

im sorry

paru paru dan perut saya

Alyaa Jamaludin

i noe i am sesuke hati menulis nama kaw

but

aku sayang kaw

sekian terime kasih

 

Jebon Embon aka Nik

you!

thanx fr being the greatest friend ever!

sorry sbab suker kacaw you!

hihihih

syg you ngan aliaa!

mwaaaahxx

sisterhood of travelling shirt

                                                                         Dania Starwosky

It’s been a while for Dan to wait for this moment; the best that she could wait is the time when she will be finishing her high school. It’s been a hard time for her to wait for this time.  Everything happened really quickly where the one that she cares most has changed. She could not do anything but just to accept the fact that he has changed.

                The fact about him to change really hurts her when she expects him to be with her all the time and make their relationship become tougher from day to another day. Seriously, she hoped for the best but everything has changed when the guy that she knew since she was small has changed. She knows that this kind of situation will happen. She could not do anything just to wait for the next hit.

                The song of “u got it bad...” by Usher really makes Dan cried and felt touched about it. She was sitting at the verandah on the swing which her late father made for her. But everything has becomes memories. She knows that it’s quite tough for her to accept every single thing that had happened. She knows there must be some reason of her to get twisted with the situation. She knows it. About Nick, she just ignore about it because she knew it.  She knew there must be something that will happen and everything has become reality. Every single thing.

                Nick and she had spent most of the time together and maybe Nick was expecting Dan to get laid because she always read about the fact of guys that the percentage of the guys wants to get laid with girls is almost eighty percent of them. Well, Dan has made a decision on how to forget about Nick and she made it! Congrats Dan.

                Well, let’s get back to work, while Dan was listening to the songs of Outta my head by Ashlee Simpson. A boy with a red jumpsuit came and she got a parcel with a letter. She quickly opened it and it is a bracelet and a red shirt where a “love yourself...” is written on it. It is a surprised and she was shocked and she did not know how to react on it.

The letter was written by a lady who named as “Gloria Parcel”. She was given an instruction by the lady so-called as “Gloria” and asked her to go the northern California to start on a new life. She quickly packed on her stuff and booked on flight ticket just to start her new life there. She really did and her mom?? That would be a good question. She doesn’t care about it at all because her mom doesn’t care as she was too busy with her career.

                She flew right away in the evening and stay in a motel temporarily because she wants to start a new life. Her note to her mom really makes her mom realized about Dan’s leaving. She knows that her mom will disappointed on her but this is her decision on how to decide the right thing, No one could ever stop her. This is it.

                                                                                Amelia Riuchinni

“I hate you! I hate you dad!

It shocked her. She woke up from her sleep. Actually, it was a pigeon that had hit on the window. Its cracking as might as the pigeon had hit on it really hard. She looked at her table lamp as her shirt that she has got still in her luggage. She just moved as she had a terrible fight with her dad. She’s disappointed on her father as her father being an irresponsible father. He is a drugs addict and it is hard from him to stop all the addiction. It did affect her family as her mother ran away with another guy.

                Now, she lives with her sister Rose as her sister already has her own family with a lovely daughter. She felt more comfortable as she can feel on how living with a normal family with a healthy lifestyle. Rose left them when she was nine, and Mel thought that Rose was ran away but actually Rose had been abused by her own father and she moved out from the house as she could not bear with her father. Finally she met a right guy to marry her and build her career and family.

                Mel feels delighted as her sister has become a very successful person even though they have a very bad and unhealthy background. The letter and the parcel that she has received before which has been sent by a lady named Gloria Parcel makes her believes that she has to move out before she would be one of her father victims as what had happened on Rose.

                She still remembers on how she has been abused by Jack Riuchinni as he is her father.

It was a very sorrow night as Mel was busy checking on her things that she should bring to her class tomorrow, suddenly jack called him to look on the dryer as it is not functioning as usual as Mel knows mostly everything about all the electrical appliances in their house, but while she was busy checking on the dryer Jack touched and grabbed her from the back and was trying to kiss her.

                She was shocked and speechless and she bites on Jacks tough hand and ran away. Luckily, Rose has gave her contact number as if there any emergency in cased they are facing any problem before. She called Rose and Rose picked her up. But while Mel was waiting for Rose, a boy in a red jumpsuit came to her and gave her the parcel so she would be able to read the letter. When she was busily tearing of the parcels wrapping her sister, Rose came with her husband. Then, basically Mel is with Rose now. She is currently should be safe and she saw a shirt. A red shirt where “Love yourself...” is written on it.

Now she is happily live with Rose as Rose is willing to take care of her sister.

                                                                                Amber Veolia

Well, we should know that nobody’s perfect. So every single thing that had happened sure is too happened as they have their own reason. Generally, all parents want their children to succeed. It is obviously and nobody could be blame.

                About this our friend Amber who is the only daughter in her family with two brothers and a puppy. She never complaints or makes her parents worried. She fulfills every single thing that her parents want. She is smart enough to make everyone proud of her and she is beautiful enough to make everyone fell in love with her too. But there is something beneath her heart that no one would ever know. Her decision. Does everyone notice what does she looks like in the future? Being a lawyer would make her happy? Or she is just trying hard to be the best in front of her parents.

                Well, it began when Amber was busy sun bathing at the California most popular beach. She usually takes her Maxis walk at the beach and they will sunbathe together. Suddenly, she had realized that she never stay away from her parents. So she decides to tour to the Europe by herself. Since she is already 23 years old and she never being a part from her family, she wants to make her own decision. Her thoughts that her mother will let her go suddenly it is not like what she expected as her mother scold her.

                Suddenly and the first time, this is her first time asking permission with her mother and her mother did not approved it and for the first time too she felt pissed off with her mother. Why it is all suddenly and she never realized about herself satisfaction and priority. It shouldn’t be that way as she is turning 24 next year. So she made her own decision to make this is a perfect get away. She locked herself in her bedroom and did not get down for her dinner. But actually, she sneaked out from her bedroom just to make herself out of hunger. Well, while she was busy preparing herself some sandwiches someone knocked outside from the kitchens window. It was a boy with a red jumpsuit with a parcel. She gave him tips. She wasn’t shocked or even surprised with the parcel.

                After she has finished her supper, she opened up the parcel and there’s a letter and a shirt that is written “love yourself...” Well, it is from Gloria Parcel whom she doesn’t know. Then after she read the letter she had changed her mind of going to the Europe. But going to the northern Californian to meet her “sisters”.

The next morning her mom gets in to her bedroom and there’s no one in her bedroom but a note which it is written I love you mom Love, Amber. Her mom screamed out loud her name and while she is smiling in the flight while listening to the songs of “through the trees by low shoulder...” to meet her sisters.

               

Dear my Love,

 

This letter is for you to get out from the place you are now. There are a lot of things in this world that you have to look on and learn from it, with this t-shirt, it will help you to meet some of your sisters that have the same fate as yours. Meet them at the Mendocino Garden at the northern California,..

                                       

                                         Love,

                                   Gloria Parcel

After a while they really met each other with their t-shirt on and they hugged each other when the first time their met and now they are really best friend and they feel like sisters as they share a lot of things together. They take serious on whatever happened and three of them start on their new life and live happily together.

The end.

                                                                                                                                                                U noe u Love me,

                                                                                                                                                                Miss Gloria Parcel

ikut suke u lah

well

he's real sux

he kept on repeating the same phrase

go to hell man!

i noe ur a hell

you are

one in a time

its over

really

i dont know fr how long would it last

but

trust me

im just a burden

i am

i really am

he doesnt care

he got a lot of things

let the world change him

he knows everythn

really.

i mean it

he's a criminal

so do i

me n him just like the bonnie and clyde

no one would ever care

but i care

its just him

really

memories??

let it be

everything

every single thing

he hates me

he knows that

n i dun give a damn

a lot of people hate me

so.

he is just a piece

really a piece

i dont think that

we are

going to be

FRIENDS

trust me! 

he wouldnt

 he would not

seriously

dear u.

i noe u will read this

but 

the fact is

i am a piece ryte

i deserve it

 GOODBYE

envy me

Fayfay Omar

as it goes.

the wind wont stop.

but there

a tree will make them stop

stop! 

me?

just staring at it.

stare and stare

without a blink my tears drop.

tick tock tick tock

im hoping fr the apple to fall

i dont want it to be out from the tree

too precious

too precious

im just a girl.

i dont deserve it

but still.

i want it

how eager am i

how eager am i

a stone wont changed 

but it will

with the lite

the lite

lite

me?

i don knoww..

only the grass knows

the grass that have been watching me

since i was small.

since smaller

from the womb

till the tomb

only He knows

how I appreciate myself.

FAY

they.it.them at night

as i see..

they.

them.

talking smiling laughing

everything is about me.

actually..

its not about me.

im an attention seeker..

so?

i dont care.

as i grow,

i need to try everything.

every single thing.

every single time

every single dose.

g..

its enough than a KG..

no one ever noticed.

never,,

ever

as i exhaled.

i can feel the pleasure.

the smile of him

smiling without his real teeth

because its enuff for him.

he wants sumthin from me?

but me?

keep on exhaling.

i love the pain.

because i never know what do they care and concerned about me.

but still.

i dont care about them.

anxiety.

curiousity.

makes me believe,

i am no longer like them.

i am the bad me..

but a night!

changed me.

He helped me out.

with His help to show me.

to His arm.

to His family.

i feel secured,

a night. changed me a lot,

REALLY.

amin.

hope it will last till my last breath.

time

i have changed!

I need too...

i want too..

i dont need YOU!

YOU..

sux

hell bulllshit

real fucker..

I hate you!

go to hell

ur so full of hatred!

i HATE you

nowandthenforever

loo loo skip to my loo
loo loo skip to my loo
loo loo skip to my loo
skip to my loo my darliiing...

boredom is a yes..
as the world keep on going..
so polly take the kettle away.

reality is real..
dream is still a dream..
me?

it is just me..

globally insane

i looked..
as i stared..
i fainted..
as i smell..

the wave..
hrmmh..
keep on waving..
y me?
y me?
y me?
i dont deserve it..

as i turn back time
i saw..
a mother..
keep on nagging..
my mother?
she is?
no..
she is at home..
waiting fr me.
but me?
where are all those people..
they are not her children
so?
but y me?
i dont need this.
y me?

a man came..
she is the one..
haa?
i stared at him..
he smiled..
he gave me a flower
a sunflower?
but y a sunflower.

he said : sun go brighten everyday flower keep on blooming everyday..
she wants you to be someone..
dont harm urself.
pleaase.

he beg me.

but y me?
it is always me..
im still searching fr it.
search
search search
search search search

i still have the chance to change.
change change

so
now
im still looking for me..



ahh! its insane! im too overdose!

stop it! stop it!

bloggers and writters

they are normal..

really..

nothing to compare..

they write..

i read..

i write..

they??


basically...
nothing to proud of..

we..

just write..

expressing ourselves..
in different way..
in different things..

we dont need speakers..
we dont need crowds..
we dont need merchants...
we dont need sponsors..

we just need someone to lend their eyes..
to read...
about what im going to write..
about what i feel today..
about what is the life on going

people
..smokes..
with a puff..
tells others about thousand things in their mind..

used to be one of them..

happy?
its just a part of it..
smile?
it is just a part of it..
laugh??
it is just a part of it..

we
writers and blogger
keep writing up
about life

come on!
its a free writing
people do change
and remain
insyaAllah


i?
keep on observing.
do?
keeps on changing.
nod?
thinking about something else

eyes?
observing and watching
ears?
listening every single bit
nose?
smell something bad and good
mouth?
keep them shut
lips?
keep on biting


me?
just me.
singlee.
takenn.
in every single way.

it comes and go..

but me?
stay

hardtyme together; bodynsoul

i noe its hard to say this, but it is the main thing that i would like to share with. life is not that easy. it is surely complicated. nothing is to complete us. it is just pass away and walk by behind the shore. seriously. it is not like what i have expected. worst to worst, it would be the best for both world. neither me nor it.

nothing could change me and myself, it is just me. im the one who should be blame.it is what have been planned and it is not important. it is the pain that i think i should get rid of. and sometimes i feel like suicide is the best way, no matter what happen. it would be the best. nothing to worry about.

the night..
the night..
the night..
it has been fade away..

it gasp me like gasping for airs..

it do hurts..
the night..

it shall fade away.. but the bruise..
remaining..

i noe it wont fade away..
but..
im the one who should be blame..

this body not the soul...
this body dont deserve all this..
because of the soul..
the body feels the pain along..

the night..

where the smokes of eager and evil..
keep on ambushing the lungs..
but y the body..
not the soul..
just to make the soul happy..
why does the body should feel the pain..
it hurts me..
it do hurts me a lot..

the kisses on that night..
really poisonous..
it kills the people..
even the most dangerous thing in this world..
but still..
the soul wants it..
but y?
y must the body feels it too..
doesnt it sounds hell?
pity the body..

the soul is crazy..
the body needs all the sanity..
the mind undecided

me?

guys

no more them in life! just for friends! not fr date n soulmate!

speedzone

love the moment when i went there. i went there with the one that i care most. but it doesnt remain. it happens when im on it. it was my mistakes. i wasnt supposed to eat that thing. but the fact is i did. this is because of the people who i haNG out with. when i feel the high! i can feel that im flying eventhough victor gs spin is not as good as marco v and eddie halliwell. but then..everything had changed!

i danced and i cn feel that im flying high with the loud sounds. I lost my johny depp on that time. so i was stucked at thae main stage and infront of the loud speakers. suddenly someone saw me and he dragged me to HIM AND HE aasked me to hangout with the one that he trust. not with my johny depp. and my phone was misplaced and i dont even give a damn. what i cae is to dnce...

but suddenly my johny depp saw me with the peson who are incharged to keep an eye on me because i was in sumthing..the end is we break off...SHIT MAN! i wasnt supposed to take that thing! shitt!

a friend of mine

Harith Fadhillah

• a friend of mine
• i was a dead tree last time
• without leaves
• awaitin fr a man to bring me life
• a life that it so called victory
• a victory that no one could ever gained.
• in a yard there were a lot of beautifull flowers and a lot of bees busy for the honey.
• me?
• just a tree
• an old tree
• even the sun brightly risen up could not help me to grow and become a big tree.
• I was ashamed of myself.
• but there..
• is a man
• holding a pail of water..
• a water!
• even a pail should be more than enough.
• but he.strongly and bravely brings a pail of water where the river nearby is full of angrily and hungry alligators..
• but to save this tree that man is willing to sacrifice and carry a lott of water...
• he pour all the water at the tree and look after of that tree..
• he believes that the tree will become a very big tree..
• someday and he believes in it..
• he makesure the tree is well taken care...
• and now by the time has arrives..
• the big tree has fruits.
• its a magic fruits and the tree becomes beautifull and well taken care .
• and now.
• no way of that tree to forget that man atribution and help.
• the tree fruits every season so the man could sell the fruits and noww..
• he is becomin a well known rich man!
• thats all...

for the best conclusion.. HARITH FADHILLAH..i wont ever2 forget about you.i dont have the tend to forget people. I hope i would not forget u and i really apprieciate u as I was a dumb girl before..

thankyou,

cleopatrathedevil

tired

exhausted
tired
starving
blank
blur

boyfriends!

moi boyfriends since i was smaller which i think i feel like listing all of them the truth and the latest.i dunoe, i think it is time to reveal one by one about me so i could be a free-writer and one think that i love most being myself is i dun mind wut other people going to say about me.

its all about me

p/s; this page might content any harshed words so there will be no heart feeling to anyone..what wud i ask for is just love for who i am.

1. izzudin bin azizol
2. shahrul anwar bin yuhanis
3. Muhammad faisal b anua
4. hafizi bin fauzi
5. muhammad mahfuz bin abdul rashid
6. joehaidin nasution bin johan
7. amirrul ashim
8. faris bin osman
9. muhammad noor arif b omar

well i got a lot of crusheh which i dont think so whom. and i love spending time with them. I love it. but I dont waste my pride on them. they are just for a place to smile, laugh, talk and more. I dont think that playing each others feeling would be a great idea because it might risk ur relationship with each other. One thing about guys is they treat me well i mean is they dont talk back like the other girls did and they have some perception onwards each other in every single different way. and i love it. they talk and they tells directly eventhough sometimes it is hurt. well the truth might ba a little pain as mght as well talk about each other and talks back about each other is fucking hell!

seriously it is hell!

cleopatrathedevil

a journey

A journer has come. well i already take my laptop back and it is tiring. Driving all the way from ttdi to Sek. 27. Nothin to worry about. A journey that has changed everythin I love it man,

like it is supposed too and its a good idea so i could smoke!

Basically, my dad will give me a call.."where r u now dear, ayah needs the card.."i replied"im almost here ayah..wait okayh.at the junction noww..." pbbt! adoyy! leceyh when parents could not trust us ryte? well saper suruh kantoi and everythin. at this age. no body would trust us. seriously because at this age everythin would happen and obviously some of the girls like me will feel annoyed well what to do! redhaa jee! hihih...

the conclusion is i love my cigarettes! cntek kn casing i! bullshit!

cleopatrathedevil

today

• awaitin for mummy to asked me to take back my Dell laptop which is corrupted and crashed due to some technical problem.
• Its sux because everyday I have nothin to do just listen to the electro's music. Online-ing facebook and myspace.
• Youtube-ing anything that i would ever rather do.
• Talk to myself because no money and no assets. Just liability.
• Just now, JEBON EMBON asked me to write up about him!
• okayh then!
• now I am writing up!
• hehehe.

-Jebon Embon-

• Titik pertemuan di Getting to noe you
• Seorag yang saNGAT malu2 kucing
• hahahah! sengal nak mampos yee
• hihihi
• dikenali chip or adakah ia CHEAP atau sekadar panggilan maut yang tidak akan disedari orang ramai atau hanaya saya seorang sahaja akan mengenali diri mu yg bak kucing gebu itu.
• you! i ta suke kucing! I takut kowt! no wonderlah I takut kucing kater garang mcm u.
• Boleh dikire seorang shabat walaupun baru kenal. saya tidaklah begitu mudah untuk berase selese dgn cepat lagi2 dgn unknown sbb saya sangat memeilih untuk memilih seorang sahabat. seriously shit!
• Sangat active dalam bidang theatre sbb once I have followed him to his tarining of the theatre of WHoa, Willow! di Uitm Puncak Perdana. time tue ku sedang melarikan diri
• SEorang yg amat sensitive cm pokok semalu tapi tuelah, Pokok semalu pun boleyh terkejut dgn kemaluan yg jebon ader sebab "diorg" kate. Kalaw belakang besar dpn kecik, kalaw blakang kecik depan besar...memandangkan jebon dah slimmed down. belakang dier mstilah kecik. so depan dier besarlah! ahahhahaha.
• Think big to b big! hahaha
• hzahahahah!
• n saye suker lepak ngan dier sbab dier tramatlah best dgn attitude nyer yg ta semene2 itu yang membuatkan saye tergamam lah jugak sometimes and teruje! it wud b a definitely! hihihih
• haaaa.itu sajee sekian ntuk jebon......

okayh enuff for jebon. sekarang nie tngu mummy lagi so she could asked me to get back to bring my laptop. she's busy with my brother who love to sing and shouting and playing all the instruments that annoying. and irritating. sometimes i feel like killing all the boys because i felt annoyed. But still they are my brothers and insane people themselves wouldnt be that cruel. they still have the feelin of loving each other.

I think the intention of creating this blog is to fulfill all my leisure time. instead of going out anywhere that are dangerous and a lot of mysterious guys out there. but still on weekend im going to enjoy myself partying! hihih. man how i love to party! seriously shit. Well, there it goes !

Sometimes I felt really empty because I dont have anything to do and mostly I will open my mouth widely in the toilet n ..... and i open my mouth just a lil bit fr a .... hihihi. well there it goes!

ciao bella!

cleopatrathedevil

mafuszrashidthefirstlove

him.him.him.him. i could not say anything as in im so speechless in everythin that had happened. let the past be by gone.

have u heard any of these songs like thankgod i found u by mariah carey or dangerously in love by beyonce well, i think it is so sweet and untill now after 5ive years it is a very ........ song and I do feel that they able to make me cry untill now. seriously shit.

Owhh i still remember how i fell in love with this guy. Its started with a text msgs and I still remember the time and I still remember every single thing that had happened and every single thing that passed. He changed my life a lot. He is different with the other guy. He made me laugh, he made me cried, he made me do everythin, every single thing and I think he is everything for me. I felt cherished everytime he smiled at me and sometimes he drove me crazy with his jokes that I dont think that it is funny.Well, thats wut we call life isnt it.

After several years. we could not expect anything to happened and it was happening during my day of everything was twisted and I hate it. I hate it! I admit! I hate it! was it supposed to be clear because everything has changed. I dont like this kind of situation happened. I dunoe what makes his feeling changed onwards everything including me.

He changed my life in everything. and everyday and everything is all about him. untill now. he is not born to be forget. I need him no matter what happened. but still. he keep a distance from me. when i hold him he will run away far far awy from the place and the first point of our first time being together. 5ive years wont guaranty u any place or any fix point. Itll never. never ever ever.

Now. I have my own life, with my only true but not my only one because only one is unforgiven. and yet his existence in my life wont fade away from the rest of my life. Maybe I have to live with it that we re not meant fr each other. He doesnt care about me anymore and he doesnt want to be loved anymore and I admit it hurts me. A lot!

cleopatrathedevil

after life

well, its started when he ( an ex-boyfriend ) have finished his schools world and he changed into someone that I barely see. It is difficult for me to accept that he is changing into sumone else. Maybe I am too much with him. I mean in a way of depending him too much. Makes me believe that one day without him will make my life twisted and miserable. I think in a way of that ( I love to revenge ) I will revenge on what he is doing to me on that time. It was a miserable period because you dont have anyone on that time ( as i was stuck in MRSM and being there is feeling like loneliness is conquering my whole life, I admit I hate it but sometiomes I do feel like iys an honour fr me to be one of the students ) okayh lets continue, whenever I called him. He would be like.."b sorry I bz lah. Cn u call me again later, sorry sgt..." He was busy hanging out with his bunch of friends and I felt a bit left out.


But never mind, what goes around comes around. Seriously I felt terrible. But I think its okayhl Since then I started to call myself Shedevil.feruzshedevil. I think i am too demanding and he felt annoyed. But its okayh. I dont mind about it at all! and now I have changed and a lot of people could not accept it. Its okayh. I will prove them wrong. Now its me to choose the right way or not. because I am the one who is going to face through it everyday.

Now.Living in a city its not like what other people expected. As you can see definitely teenagers ( the most correct word and group to use ) partying.clubbing.drinking.smoking.weedinghaving sex. its normal, as it is not supposed to be in our culture. but im tired with all of the. they wont solve any of ur problems and it wont remain forever. temporarily it did but you wil get the result from the aspect of ur health.

Well, praying for me to face my day with joyness and happiness

cleopatrashedevil