Sunday, October 25, 2009


no more them in life! just for friends! not fr date n soulmate!


love the moment when i went there. i went there with the one that i care most. but it doesnt remain. it happens when im on it. it was my mistakes. i wasnt supposed to eat that thing. but the fact is i did. this is because of the people who i haNG out with. when i feel the high! i can feel that im flying eventhough victor gs spin is not as good as marco v and eddie halliwell. but then..everything had changed!

i danced and i cn feel that im flying high with the loud sounds. I lost my johny depp on that time. so i was stucked at thae main stage and infront of the loud speakers. suddenly someone saw me and he dragged me to HIM AND HE aasked me to hangout with the one that he trust. not with my johny depp. and my phone was misplaced and i dont even give a damn. what i cae is to dnce...
but suddenly my johny depp saw me with the peson who are incharged to keep an eye on me because i was in sumthing..the end is we break off...SHIT MAN! i wasnt supposed to take that thing! shitt!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

a friend of mine

Harith Fadhillah

  • a friend of mine
  • i was a dead tree last time
  • without leaves
  • awaitin fr a man to bring me life
  • a life that it so called victory
  • a victory that no one could ever gained.
  • in a yard there were a lot of beautifull flowers and a lot of bees busy for the honey.
  • me?
  • just a tree
  • an old tree
  • even the sun brightly risen up could not help me to grow and become a big tree.
  • I was ashamed of myself.
  • but there..
  • is a man
  • holding a pail of water..
  • a water!
  • even a pail should be more than enough.
  • but he.strongly and bravely brings a pail of water where the river nearby is full of angrily and hungry alligators..
  • but to save this tree that man is willing to sacrifice and carry a lott of water...
  • he pour all the water at the tree and look after of that tree..
  • he believes that the tree will become a very big tree..
  • someday and he believes in it..
  • he makesure the tree is well taken care...
  • and now by the time has arrives..
  • the big tree has fruits.
  • its a magic fruits and the tree becomes beautifull and well taken care .
  • and now.
  • no way of that tree to forget that man atribution and help.
  • the tree fruits every season so the man could sell the fruits and noww..
  • he is becomin a well known rich man!
  • thats all...

for the best conclusion.. HARITH FADHILLAH..i wont ever2 forget about you.i dont have the tend to forget people. I hope i would not forget u and i really apprieciate u as I was a dumb girl before..






moi boyfriends since i was smaller which i think i feel like listing all of them the truth and the latest.i dunoe, i think it is time to reveal one by one about me so i could be a free-writer and one think that i love most being myself is i dun mind wut other people going to say about me.
its all about me
p/s; this page might content any harshed words so there will be no heart feeling to anyone..what wud i ask for is just love for who i am.
  1. izzudin bin azizol
  2. shahrul anwar bin yuhanis
  3. Muhammad faisal b anua
  4. hafizi bin fauzi
  5. muhammad mahfuz bin abdul rashid
  6. joehaidin nasution bin johan
  7. amirrul ashim
  8. faris bin osman
  9. muhammad noor arif b omar

well i got a lot of crusheh which i dont think so whom. and i love spending time with them. I love it. but I dont waste my pride on them. they are just for a place to smile, laugh, talk and more. I dont think that playing each others feeling would be a great idea because it might risk ur relationship with each other. One thing about guys is they treat me well i mean is they dont talk back like the other girls did and they have some perception onwards each other in every single different way. and i love it. they talk and they tells directly eventhough sometimes it is hurt. well the truth might ba a little pain as mght as well talk about each other and talks back about each other is fucking hell!

seriously it is hell!


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

a journey

A journer has come. well i already take my laptop back and it is tiring. Driving all the way from ttdi to Sek. 27. Nothin to worry about. A journey that has changed everythin I love it man,

like it is supposed too and its a good idea so i could smoke!

Basically, my dad will give me a call.."where r u now dear, ayah needs the card.."i replied"im almost here ayah..wait the junction noww..." pbbt! adoyy! leceyh when parents could not trust us ryte? well saper suruh kantoi and everythin. at this age. no body would trust us. seriously because at this age everythin would happen and obviously some of the girls like me will feel annoyed well what to do! redhaa jee! hihih...

the conclusion is i love my cigarettes! cntek kn casing i! bullshit!



  • awaitin for mummy to asked me to take back my Dell laptop which is corrupted and crashed due to some technical problem.
  • Its sux because everyday I have nothin to do just listen to the electro's music. Online-ing facebook and myspace.
  • Youtube-ing anything that i would ever rather do.
  • Talk to myself because no money and no assets. Just liability.
  • Just now, JEBON EMBON asked me to write up about him!
  • okayh then!
  • now I am writing up!
  • hehehe.

-Jebon Embon-

  • Titik pertemuan di Getting to noe you
  • Seorag yang saNGAT malu2 kucing
  • hahahah! sengal nak mampos yee
  • hihihi
  • dikenali chip or adakah ia CHEAP atau sekadar panggilan maut yang tidak akan disedari orang ramai atau hanaya saya seorang sahaja akan mengenali diri mu yg bak kucing gebu itu.
  • you! i ta suke kucing! I takut kowt! no wonderlah I takut kucing kater garang mcm u.
  • Boleh dikire seorang shabat walaupun baru kenal. saya tidaklah begitu mudah untuk berase selese dgn cepat lagi2 dgn unknown sbb saya sangat memeilih untuk memilih seorang sahabat. seriously shit!
  • Sangat active dalam bidang theatre sbb once I have followed him to his tarining of the theatre of WHoa, Willow! di Uitm Puncak Perdana. time tue ku sedang melarikan diri
  • SEorang yg amat sensitive cm pokok semalu tapi tuelah, Pokok semalu pun boleyh terkejut dgn kemaluan yg jebon ader sebab "diorg" kate. Kalaw belakang besar dpn kecik, kalaw blakang kecik depan besar...memandangkan jebon dah slimmed down. belakang dier mstilah kecik. so depan dier besarlah! ahahhahaha.
  • Think big to b big! hahaha
  • hzahahahah!
  • n saye suker lepak ngan dier sbab dier tramatlah best dgn attitude nyer yg ta semene2 itu yang membuatkan saye tergamam lah jugak sometimes and teruje! it wud b a definitely! hihihih
  • haaaa.itu sajee sekian ntuk jebon......

okayh enuff for jebon. sekarang nie tngu mummy lagi so she could asked me to get back to bring my laptop. she's busy with my brother who love to sing and shouting and playing all the instruments that annoying. and irritating. sometimes i feel like killing all the boys because i felt annoyed. But still they are my brothers and insane people themselves wouldnt be that cruel. they still have the feelin of loving each other.

I think the intention of creating this blog is to fulfill all my leisure time. instead of going out anywhere that are dangerous and a lot of mysterious guys out there. but still on weekend im going to enjoy myself partying! hihih. man how i love to party! seriously shit. Well, there it goes !

Sometimes I felt really empty because I dont have anything to do and mostly I will open my mouth widely in the toilet n ..... and i open my mouth just a lil bit fr a .... hihihi. well there it goes!

ciao bella!



him.him.him.him. i could not say anything as in im so speechless in everythin that had happened. let the past be by gone.
have u heard any of these songs like thankgod i found u by mariah carey or dangerously in love by beyonce well, i think it is so sweet and untill now after 5ive years it is a very ........ song and I do feel that they able to make me cry untill now. seriously shit.
Owhh i still remember how i fell in love with this guy. Its started with a text msgs and I still remember the time and I still remember every single thing that had happened and every single thing that passed. He changed my life a lot. He is different with the other guy. He made me laugh, he made me cried, he made me do everythin, every single thing and I think he is everything for me. I felt cherished everytime he smiled at me and sometimes he drove me crazy with his jokes that I dont think that it is funny.Well, thats wut we call life isnt it.
After several years. we could not expect anything to happened and it was happening during my day of everything was twisted and I hate it. I hate it! I admit! I hate it! was it supposed to be clear because everything has changed. I dont like this kind of situation happened. I dunoe what makes his feeling changed onwards everything including me.
He changed my life in everything. and everyday and everything is all about him. untill now. he is not born to be forget. I need him no matter what happened. but still. he keep a distance from me. when i hold him he will run away far far awy from the place and the first point of our first time being together. 5ive years wont guaranty u any place or any fix point. Itll never. never ever ever.
Now. I have my own life, with my only true but not my only one because only one is unforgiven. and yet his existence in my life wont fade away from the rest of my life. Maybe I have to live with it that we re not meant fr each other. He doesnt care about me anymore and he doesnt want to be loved anymore and I admit it hurts me. A lot!

after life

well, its started when he ( an ex-boyfriend ) have finished his schools world and he changed into someone that I barely see. It is difficult for me to accept that he is changing into sumone else. Maybe I am too much with him. I mean in a way of depending him too much. Makes me believe that one day without him will make my life twisted and miserable. I think in a way of that ( I love to revenge ) I will revenge on what he is doing to me on that time. It was a miserable period because you dont have anyone on that time ( as i was stuck in MRSM and being there is feeling like loneliness is conquering my whole life, I admit I hate it but sometiomes I do feel like iys an honour fr me to be one of the students ) okayh lets continue, whenever I called him. He would be like.."b sorry I bz lah. Cn u call me again later, sorry sgt..." He was busy hanging out with his bunch of friends and I felt a bit left out.

But never mind, what goes around comes around. Seriously I felt terrible. But I think its okayhl Since then I started to call myself Shedevil.feruzshedevil. I think i am too demanding and he felt annoyed. But its okayh. I dont mind about it at all! and now I have changed and a lot of people could not accept it. Its okayh. I will prove them wrong. Now its me to choose the right way or not. because I am the one who is going to face through it everyday.

Now.Living in a city its not like what other people expected. As you can see definitely teenagers ( the most correct word and group to use ) partying.clubbing.drinking.smoking.weedinghaving sex. its normal, as it is not supposed to be in our culture. but im tired with all of the. they wont solve any of ur problems and it wont remain forever. temporarily it did but you wil get the result from the aspect of ur health.

Well, praying for me to face my day with joyness and happiness