they.it.them at night

as i see..

they.

them.

talking smiling laughing

everything is about me.

actually..

its not about me.

im an attention seeker..

so?

i dont care.

as i grow,

i need to try everything.

every single thing.

every single time

every single dose.

g..

its enough than a KG..

no one ever noticed.

never,,

ever

as i exhaled.

i can feel the pleasure.

the smile of him

smiling without his real teeth

because its enuff for him.

he wants sumthin from me?

but me?

keep on exhaling.

i love the pain.

because i never know what do they care and concerned about me.

but still.

i dont care about them.

anxiety.

curiousity.

makes me believe,

i am no longer like them.

i am the bad me..

but a night!

changed me.

He helped me out.

with His help to show me.

to His arm.

to His family.

i feel secured,

a night. changed me a lot,

REALLY.

amin.

hope it will last till my last breath.

time

i have changed!

I need too...

i want too..

i dont need YOU!

YOU..

sux

hell bulllshit

real fucker..

I hate you!

go to hell

ur so full of hatred!

i HATE you

nowandthenforever

loo loo skip to my loo
loo loo skip to my loo
loo loo skip to my loo
skip to my loo my darliiing...

boredom is a yes..
as the world keep on going..
so polly take the kettle away.

reality is real..
dream is still a dream..
me?

it is just me..

globally insane

i looked..
as i stared..
i fainted..
as i smell..

the wave..
hrmmh..
keep on waving..
y me?
y me?
y me?
i dont deserve it..

as i turn back time
i saw..
a mother..
keep on nagging..
my mother?
she is?
no..
she is at home..
waiting fr me.
but me?
where are all those people..
they are not her children
so?
but y me?
i dont need this.
y me?

a man came..
she is the one..
haa?
i stared at him..
he smiled..
he gave me a flower
a sunflower?
but y a sunflower.

he said : sun go brighten everyday flower keep on blooming everyday..
she wants you to be someone..
dont harm urself.
pleaase.

he beg me.

but y me?
it is always me..
im still searching fr it.
search
search search
search search search

i still have the chance to change.
change change

so
now
im still looking for me..



ahh! its insane! im too overdose!

stop it! stop it!

bloggers and writters

they are normal..

really..

nothing to compare..

they write..

i read..

i write..

they??


basically...
nothing to proud of..

we..

just write..

expressing ourselves..
in different way..
in different things..

we dont need speakers..
we dont need crowds..
we dont need merchants...
we dont need sponsors..

we just need someone to lend their eyes..
to read...
about what im going to write..
about what i feel today..
about what is the life on going

people
..smokes..
with a puff..
tells others about thousand things in their mind..

used to be one of them..

happy?
its just a part of it..
smile?
it is just a part of it..
laugh??
it is just a part of it..

we
writers and blogger
keep writing up
about life

come on!
its a free writing
people do change
and remain
insyaAllah


i?
keep on observing.
do?
keeps on changing.
nod?
thinking about something else

eyes?
observing and watching
ears?
listening every single bit
nose?
smell something bad and good
mouth?
keep them shut
lips?
keep on biting


me?
just me.
singlee.
takenn.
in every single way.

it comes and go..

but me?
stay

hardtyme together; bodynsoul

i noe its hard to say this, but it is the main thing that i would like to share with. life is not that easy. it is surely complicated. nothing is to complete us. it is just pass away and walk by behind the shore. seriously. it is not like what i have expected. worst to worst, it would be the best for both world. neither me nor it.

nothing could change me and myself, it is just me. im the one who should be blame.it is what have been planned and it is not important. it is the pain that i think i should get rid of. and sometimes i feel like suicide is the best way, no matter what happen. it would be the best. nothing to worry about.

the night..
the night..
the night..
it has been fade away..

it gasp me like gasping for airs..

it do hurts..
the night..

it shall fade away.. but the bruise..
remaining..

i noe it wont fade away..
but..
im the one who should be blame..

this body not the soul...
this body dont deserve all this..
because of the soul..
the body feels the pain along..

the night..

where the smokes of eager and evil..
keep on ambushing the lungs..
but y the body..
not the soul..
just to make the soul happy..
why does the body should feel the pain..
it hurts me..
it do hurts me a lot..

the kisses on that night..
really poisonous..
it kills the people..
even the most dangerous thing in this world..
but still..
the soul wants it..
but y?
y must the body feels it too..
doesnt it sounds hell?
pity the body..

the soul is crazy..
the body needs all the sanity..
the mind undecided

me?